Liquid Sunshine

Christmas is giving me hives.

OR, the combination of Christmas AND stupid people are giving me hives. (I could dedicate an entire blog to Stupid People, but they are so stupid, they wouldn't get it!)


More likely than not, the real reason I woke up with a large patch of splotchy hives on my chest is that I'm currently fighting a cold......

....of some severity.

I actually mocked the person that used that very phrase on me earlier this week...... so perhaps the hives are just Karma's way of kickin' my ass!? Regardless, I have 7 days til Christmas and I'm still just as snarky as ever. My Michael Buble~ high wore off after 48 hours, so.......


Must. Improve. Attitude.

Wait..... 7 days. That's a week, right? Surely I can buy some "Happy" somewhere in that amount of time? I mean, if I can buy gift tags for gift cards, "Happy" has got be sold somewhere!
Gimme a second...... I'll get it.........

Thinking........ (Ouch! Hurts!)......should be instantaneous......cuz who wants to wait for "Happy"?

More thinking.......(more hurting.......goddamn cold!)..........sunshine makes me happy....Ooooooh! If you could bottle sunshine.........

Got it! Two words:

LIQUOR STORE.

Sunshine in a bottle! In an array of shapes & sizes! My sunshine of choice: Vodka. Specifically, Grey Goose. (Step off, Kettel One advocates....dis be MY blog!) And the only thing you should be adding to Grey Goose, is olive juice....lots of it. Filthy dirty..... and float at least 2 olives in that glass. And when I say "at least", I really mean three!

(Editor's note: Here's a tip, from me to you- If you are mixing your vodka, which I am a big fan of as well, the cheap stuff will do. Cheap vodka is not going to give you a headache. It's the sugary mix you're adding to it that will cause your head to explode in the morning. Pace yourself with the mixes, and hydrate. Nothing says ugly like hungover AND pickled. That's Drinking 101, folks. You're welcome.)

Well, my mood has improved markedly since I began this rant. And I've just been talking about the booze. Imagine the "Happy" I'd be wearing if I was actually drinking the booze! And, BONUS! I'm pretty sure Tk told me that she uses booze to fight her colds......something about the alcohol content killing the germs. Or something.......

It's 12:25p in BoHo.

I can totally pour myself a cocktail now!