Happy New Year, Ya'll!
I've been thinking that I should try to work out my resolutions thru writing, but I'd rather ignore them for now. In my head they seem like super ideas but the daily practice of them....well..... so not off to a good start.
Please view super idea, Exhibit A: Life is too short to spend time hating anyone. I think Kristin summed this up best when she said: Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft. I totally disagree! And seriously? I have no fkn idea what I was thinking when I thought I could embrace this super idea seeing as how Exhibit B is the perfect example of why: People make it too damn easy for me to hate them!
See where I'm at? Much easier to just ignore them for now than actually have to work on being a better person, oui?
So let us discuss a few things that I am currently obsessed with. And when I say discuss, I mean you listen while I do all the talking.
First up: People.com. I know, I know....I've discussed this before. But I am no longer just checkin' it once a day. Try hourly. There should probably be a sense of shame with this, but it really is the best source for all the news about people. Especially people I can make fun of! When Star Tracks captures Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears and any Kartrashian out there..... I am in HEAVEN! The picture of Christina in a tee shirt she was wearing as a dress, paired with siren red heels, holding onto her boyfriend's arm for dear life as she attempted to walk down a wee set of stairs from the restaurant they were leaving: made me laugh so hard I peed! I take no issue w/ the siren red heels- Louboutin. Loved them. And if Christina was, oh say..... FIFTY some pounds lighter, she'd have pulled off the tee shirt dress. But given her thigh resembled a meaty pork shank, and this picture appeared around the same time as her appearance at the Michael Jackson tribute in London; two words: New Stylist.
Perhaps someone from Lane Bryant. Just sayin.
There are also news articles that require you to actually read. You know, if you wanna take a break from making fun of people. Lynda texted me the other day to say she was spiraling over the news of Katy Perry & Russell Brand's break up; so much so she'd taken to bed and was currently ignoring her laundry. My response was that the Perry/Brand's had no effect on me as I was currently consumed with the story of the model/blogger who lost her left eye and left hand in a propeller incident. As in: she disembarked from the plane and walked into a propeller.
Insert shrieking in horror HERE!
As People.com gives me almost daily updates on her condition, I can tell you that she is now experiencing a loss of depth perception from the head trauma. This coupled with the fact that she sees the world around her out of ONE EYE; my biggest fear is that she is running into walls and tripping all over herself because how far away is that chair REALLY? And then if she were to go down, she's only got one hand to brake her fall! Seriously, this shit keeps me up at night! For the love of God, I demand a made for TV movie! And like, yesterday already.
People.com. Give the gift of People.
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We interupt this blog for the author to have a complete FKN meltdown.
As she just lost 3/4 of her nearly edited post!
Having just spent 15 FKN minutes trying to recover her post, she's packing it in.
The title won't make any sense now; but given I had just compared Gavin DeGraw to Jesus.....I'm pretty sure this is proof that God hates me.
