Whuuuuump! There it is!

I've taken to bed, People.....

With a cocktail.

FINE. With my third cocktail.

So I've taken to bed, with my third cocktail....... and a broken wing.

FINE! A smashed finger.....whatever!

So I've taken to bed, with my third cocktail, a smashed finger, my lap top and a movie.

I'm not sure which is throbbing more: my smashed finger or my head-from having to listen to the Idol finale (Part Two- cause Part One wasn't torture enough?!) that my family is listening to so loudly, it's wafting through the heating vents and into my room! How the hell am I supposed to find sanctuary and comfort when I can hear some tween singing the Bee Gees through my heat vent?

THE BEE GEES!

NO ONE can sing the Bee Gees but the Bee Gees. Hello?
(Favorite Bee Gees song? I'm going to have to go with Tragedy. I can't even say it without instantly singing it: When the feelings gone and you can't go on...it's Tragedy......When you lose control and you got no soul...it's Tragedy!)

(On a Bee Gees related note: one of the BG's recorded a song with Michael Buble~ and it's amazing in its own right. How Can You Mend A Broken Heart.......check it out. It won't disappoint.)

Wait........where was I?
(Michael does that to me........sigh.......)

Right....my finger. Smashed. My left, pointer (How convenient that I fly the International Bird using my right hand? Waaaaaaay convenient!), which I smashed today in the heavy, mahogany filing cabinet in my Judge's office. It's one of those cabinets that roll really slow until the end; then it shuts with a big whuuuuuuump! My finger got caught in the whuuuuump! Which prompted me to yelp, which prompted my Judge to say: Shit! That's gotta hurt.

If the wind had not been knocked out of me, I would have concurred with a hearty F-bomb. Instead, I just mouthed the word.....huge tears welling in my eyes. Apparently I was holding my breath for I can surmise no other reason for my Judge to say: BREATHE.........! So I inhaled deeply and did my best to limit the amount of tears rolling down my cheeks.

Over lunch I iced my finger (read: ate my salad with my right hand while soaking my left pointer in a glass of ice water). Then I put a compression bandage on it (cause I knew that's what Marky would tell me to do) but after 30 minutes my entire hand felt numb and I couldn't type for fear of all the digits on my left hand shattering with each keystroke! So I eighty-sixed the bandage and iced my finger again (read: chicken pecked the keyboard with my right hand while soaking my left pointer in a glass of ice water).

Do you know how hard it is to type with only ONE hand? I managed to fk up every single letter of dictation....one of them three times! I finally sent my Judge home at 3:45p. Apparently just the sight of me, in my pathetic state, was enough for him to begin cocktail hour an hour early!

As I was leaving for the day, I ran into one of my friends. We were catching up on our respective days and I showed off my smashed finger (the nail bed a lovely shade of bluish-grey, with a big ol', black blood blister that ran under the nail, from side to side). I was immediately incensed over the fact that said friend declared my finger "not so bad" and then asked if I'd be "doing a little blogging".

My response: First of all, you should be fawning all over me, telling me how brave I am for having endured such a clearly painful event; and second of all, do you know how fkn hard it is to type with one hand?

Friend: (trying really hard to stifle laughter......at me!) I'm saying, it looks good. It's a compliment to you........Geeeeez! (I may or may not have stuck my tongue out at this point.........) So? Blogging?

To which I replied: Hello? I'm injured here....... I'm totally going to drink!

Insert Friend dissolving into fit of laughter (at me!) and saying: Pfffffffffffffffft! Like you need an excuse?!

Whatever. I totally take comfort in the fact that I'm so predictable.........!