Coulda Been a Conten'da!

As far as holiday weekends go, this one has blown.

For numerous reasons............which really? Who cares! It's nearly over.

I can tell you that Lynda & I have been in a quasi competition over who has had the shittier weekend.

Lynda won.

She always wins. If winning the title wasn't so pathetic, it would be awesome!

Her weekend included big boobs; rubber balls; ungrateful children; self loathing and dog shit.

Mine paled in comparison. Although I have been working on a seriously awesome Pity Party complex today. It's taken up so much of my time, Marky has run circles of accomplishments around me. Which, of course, just led me to sink farther into said Party out of sheer guilt for not accomplishing anything.

Let's recap:

I did manage to put the toilet cleaner in the toilet bowl.
(I just couldn't get motivated to actually follow up with that chore and scrub the toilet.......)

I pissed away 2 hours on iTunes, uploading new music and downloading some cds that I own. I did, however, manage to find my new theme song for work - DMX's "Party Up". Considering all I do at work of late is yell at attorneys and seriously question why I took this job, the tag line of this song is perfect: Ya'll go make me loose my mind, loose my mind, loose my mind! Ya'll go make me loose my mind, up in here! Up in here!

Hmmmmmm......considering how AWESOME it will be to play this song every time I walk out of court; the sheer joy it will bring me as I listen to the words as they wash over me....... I think this qualifies as an accomplishment.
(Totally self-serving.......but, whatever!)

I did manage to sort all of the laundry today and I've done nothing but move it from basket to washer; washer to dryer; and dryer to basket........... hey look?! That totally counts as "doing" something!

I am currently wearing the $43 flip flops I bought in Vegas- convinced I'd NEVER wear them again.......because really? Where does one wear gold lame~ flip flops, embellished with sparkly leather flowers (flowers so big they belong on a swim cap, circa 1964!)? Apparently, one wears them while waiting for One's toes to dry.

Holy hell! Three more accomplishments!
1. Wearing (shameful) Vegas flip flops (and getting my goddamn monies worth!)
2. Taking the (shamefully) chipped polish off my toes.
3. Applying new, smokin' hot, Opi, Got the Blues for Red polish on!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand, I just finished my first cocktail- vodka tonic w/ fresh blueberries. This accomplishment alone makes my day complete!

(Still doesn't trump rubber balls and dog shit, though........!)