Free Bird

I was asked today if I'd be doing any "martini blogging"..........

Whaddaya think that person was trying to say?!

I'm totally pondering that question myself........

while I swirl my sparkling, black cherry & vodka over ice!

The sap is not flowing, People. The Snarky Brunette finds herself with alot of material tumbling within her noggin, but it's all fairly random. There is nothing up there that is worthy of a running dialogue.

Fine! You're right. I don't really "dialogue." That would require someone else's input and......Pfffffffft! Since when do I want the input of others?

So I have nothing worthy of a running commentary, which is usually in the form of a rant........

Crickets.......crickets........crickets........

Well, this is disturbing. I rant, therefore I am. How can there be nothing for me to rant about? Or find fault with? WHAT. THE. HELL?

Perhaps I'm just too relaxed after my drive home? It was a gorgeous day here in Orygun. The sun was all shine-y and bright, and so I decided I'd drive home via the back roads; through the countryside, with my top down and the soundtrack to 500 Days of Summer blaring through my iPod. It was pure bliss. All of the fields were green and you could smell the fresh, cut grass. The roads are full of long curves; perfect for my Bug (or "Boog", as Jack calls it) to hug and glide through. I was in the zone (, Sullivan! - You may award yourself 100 Snarky Points if you know what movie that comes from!).

Until I rounded a curve and found myself face to face with some idiot cyclist who was traveling in MY GODDAMN LANE, the wrong GODDAMN way!

Oh. Look at that........

Welcome to my rant!

Cyclists. With their spandex and killer hamstrings......traveling in herds and always jockeying for the lead position. They are more unpredictable than a herd of cats! And what's with the God Complex, Cycle People? How is it you feel entitled to the entire roadway? My Bug may look tiny, but I'm fairly confident I could take out 7 of you at one time; leaving 5 of your 7 with permanent disabilities! And I know you see me cuz you're wearing that fkn side mirror clipped to your helmet! And don't eye-ball me as I pass your ass, with my turn signal on while giving you the entire lane of travel- MY GODDAMN LANE OF TRAVEL! Cuz I'm just classy enough to fly the International Bird at your pedaling ass and punch my gas, so you'll be breathing in some serious catalytic converter fumes!

Seriously. Get your ass on a bike path. It's what we, the tax payers, paid millions of dollars for. To get your spandex-ed asses off our roads and out of our way!
(And, out of our sight.......because, frankly, some of your asses should not be clad in spandex..... word to the wise. The Snarky Brunette is on Fashion Patrol 24/7!)

Now.....if you'll excuse me, I've worked myself into quite a lather. I need to go pour myself a refreshing libation and perhaps engage in a little deep breathing as well. For a fleeting moment, I might consider the thought that said (asshole) Cycle People are promoting healthy lifestyles and helping the environment by "going Green"........ 1.....2.....3.....

Yup. Duly noted.

Now get the FK out of my way!