It's a mere 2 days away.
Raspberries!
Could I hate this "holiday" anymore?
(Yes would be the correct answer. And if you thought I'd hit the high mark on the Hate a Holiday Meter with Christmas......you poor bastards. You have no idea what I'm capable of!)
Valentine's Day is simply the dumbest holiday out there.
Seriously. What other holiday is designated as the one day to tell someone you love them?
Ga 'head.....take a knee and give it some thought...........
That's right. THERE IS NONE!
On account of that concept being so stupid! Valentine's Day is no longer a holiday. It's a pass (as in free pass) that basically says to everyone who subscribes to it:
You can fuck up, fuck around or just plain be a fuck head; but if you acknowledge your partner on Valentine's Day, it's ok.
WTF is up with that?!
Maybe it's just me, but shouldn't everyday be the day you tell someone you love them? Especially your significant someone? And when I say significant, I'm lumping all major someones in to the same category- married someones, engaged someones, playing house someones, dating someones.....you get the gist. If the person is significant to you, my argument would apply to your someone.
But apparently, I'm in the minority in this thinking (Which literally causes my head to spin and just furthers my belief that I really am a lost member of Mensa; destined to travel through every Forest Gumptown as I make my desperate trek back to Smartsville!). Inevitably, when the topic of Valentine's Day comes up and I begin to spout forth my all knowing beliefs on the subject (that it's STUPID!), I'm the one who is thought of as stupid.
Or a bitter shrew.
Which couldn't be farther from the truth. Not only do I love the idea of Love, I love Love. If you look up the word love you will see the following: strong affection.......arising out of kinship; affection based on sexual desire; tenderness; admiration; warm attachment; devotion. I'm all about that (when I'm not being snarky and making fun of others.....)! I love when Love is new and just the sight of this new love literally takes your breath away. Or when Love has become more cerebral; and in the midst of your verbal sparring you can't decide whether you want to glove up and smack this Love or just kiss him! Or when Love becomes your best friend; and there is a comfort in knowing that if you extended your hand, Love would take it. Always.
Shouldn't this be the Love we all inspire to?
Perhaps I'm jaded from my many years in the floral industry. I put myself through college working in various florist shops, and the two busiest days for a florist are Mother's Day and Valentine's Day. I can tell you that having served 5+ years in this industry not only solidified my hatred of Valentine's Day, it single handedly ruined me when it comes to the red rose. I've got several words for you and your red roses:
Boring.
UN-original.
Lame.
Predictable.
Juvenile.
UTTERLY LACKING IN IMAGINATION.
After the 100th Dumbass would walk through our door on Valentine's Day, EVERYONE could recite said Dummy's order: I'd like a dozen, long stemmed roses please.
I'm sorry Sir (Dumbass), we are out of red roses.
But it's Valentine's Day! Who runs out of red roses?!
At 5:55 p.m. on Valentine's Day.......everyone, Sir.
(You could always skip on down to the local Chevron......nothing says I love you, and I'm a procrastinator, like a silk flower!)
Well then I'd like a dozen pink.
Sold out. Sir.
White?
No can do. Sir.
(Dumbass!)
Well what do you have?
I have some gorgeous Lillies, in either pink or white........ or I could put together a mixed bouquet. Perhaps some Freesia, Iris, Tulips and Bear Grass? Or we could do tropical....Birds of Paradise? Orchids?
Dumbass gives me a blank stare as if he's listening to Charlie Brown's teacher: Wah wah......wah wah waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah wah. And then said Dumbass speaks:
I'll take a dozen RED carnations. And give me lots of that white stuff!
Baby's Breath, Sir?
Yeah....whatever.
Yes, Sir.
(Cuz your red carnations don't scream CHEAP on their own; let's hit them with some filler that's even cheaper than the flowers themselves!! You, are a catch. Dumbass!)
And therein lies MY rub. It's the commercialization of Valentine's Day that pisses me off. A day that was borne out of courtly love; expressed through hand written notes, passed from one lover to another, has become mass produced and spoon fed to the majority courtesy of Hallmark! And it's not just a generic card bereft of any true meaning. Said generic card must be attached to an overstated and completely UN-original bouquet of flowers; accompanied by a heart shaped box of cheap ass chocolates. And if you're really trying to outdo whatever Jones you're trying to keep up with, don't forget the bottle of predictable perfume.
And the dinner reservation.
OR. If you really want to be a Dumbass- make a weekend out of one. Stupid. Day!
For me, Love shouldn't be about one day. And it most certainly shouldn't be about gifts dictated by Hallmark, See's Candies and FTD! Love should be handwritten, in your own words. And if you can put your words on pink construction paper with some sparkly glitter- it's even better (or maybe that's just me.....?)! Love should be spoken by your own lips. With words that come from your heart. And Love should be expressed everyday. With the touch of a hand. An encouraging word. A hug. A smile. A gesture (like.....doing the dishes. Or picking your clothes up off the goddamn floor!). Sometimes Love involves a few tears, but if you're really lucky, love is always accompanied by laughter.
Mark knows better than to buy me anything for Valentine's Day. Although, a few years ago he came back from a Home Depot run and as he walked past me in the kitchen, he tossed me a dirty cloth sack and said over his shoulder: Happy Valentines Day, Sister! It was a sack of tulip bulbs. I spent the next 2 hours digging in the dirt and counting the days until I could see green life sprouting from the earth. Best (stupid) Valentine EVER.
Given my hatred of this holiday, is it possible for the Snarky Brunette to enjoy Valentine's Day? Stranger things have happened (I refer you back to my New Year's confession....). My Monsters will undoubtedly create paper hearts that are heavy with glue and glitter. And I will cry when they present them to me because that's what I do (I'm sensitive and snarky.). And because the gesture is precious and meaningful and was made with their little hands.
That is Love. And that is what Valentine's Day should be about.
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