What can I say?

It's almost 1:30p and I just poured my THIRD cocktail.

Shameful?

Perhaps.

But it's really not my fault. See, I decided it was high time to clean my shower. I hate cleaning shower stalls. Seriously. I'll scrub 10 toilets before it dawns on me that I might be dying from the mold spores growing in my shower!

Where is an obsessive compulsive when you need one?!

So. Given the fact that I ignore the condition of my shower, it was the state of my toilet that was a clear indicator that I needed to spend some time in my bathroom with my friends: Rubber Gloves, Tilex & Scrubbing Bubbles!

Sexy.

So while my toilet was "soaking" in all things Lysol Cling, I decided: WTF. I'll clean the shower.

Insert me into the shower stall, flip flops on my feet; big wig piled on top of my head and a brand new bottle of Tilex in my rubber gloved hand.

Fast forward 2 minutes and I am GASPING for breath! Please view me, fat ass and all, staggering out of said shower; eyes watering & me screaming JESUS CHRIST, REALLY?!

Note to self: open your windows and turn on the bathroom exhaust fan PRIOR to the use of Tilex.

I headed to the kitchen immediately and poured myself a stiff cocktail.

Which I downed. Promptly.

I am now on my third and while while my sense of smell is still impaired; my vision has recovered nicely. With my third cocktail in hand, I am off to tackle another bathroom.

If my family is lucky, I will continue to drink, clean and serenade them all with my own cover version of my iPod Playlist on shuffle play!