What's one of my most favorite-est things, ever?
Peppermint.
I love the smell. And the taste.
I love peppermint shampoo.
(It makes your scalp all tingly.......refreshing!)
I love peppermint tea.
(Tea. I know, right?!)
I love peppermint ice cream.
(I must be monitored when eating it because I will eat the whole carton.)
(Seriously.)
(I'm so not kidding.....)
I love peppermint. But other than those swirly, hard candies- peppermint isn't easy to find.
What's one of the things I H-A-T-E the most?
Christmas decorations visually displayed anywhere prior to November 26th.
HATE it.
I was walking through J.C. Penney's the last week of October and they had already hung their Christmas swags & garlands from the rafters.
WTF?
If you will, please picture The Snarky Brunette, dressed to the nines as she's just come from work; clomp! clomp! clomping! through the store; on a mission to find orange tights for her daughter's Halloween costume, when she rounds the corner and comes face to face with (stupid) Sales People hanging CHRISTMAS RIFF RAFF!
It literally stopped me in my clomping tracks! Dumbfounded, I stood in the middle of the designated walk way, mouth agape, staring at the CHRISTMAS RIFF RAFF! I didn't snap out of it until the Sales People sang out to me: Can you believe it? It's that time again!
What I wanted to say (read: SCREAM!) was: If by "time again" you mean HALLOWEEN, then you folks are clearly needing some help with your seasonal decorations!
What I did was simply walk away.
While muttering to myself: Who I got to kill to make Christmas go away?!
Now, I'm seeing Christmas everywhere! Decorated trees are in window displays. Target had an end cap of ORNAMENTS in their card section. My co-worker was playing Christmas music in the office YESTERDAY.
(I may or may not have snapped and demanded that she TURN THAT SHIT OFF!)
Tonight, as the Monsters and I were hustling through Fred Meyer (Hannie, you grab the pizza....Mommy needs some Diet Tonic and a lime!), I walked past an end cap and abruptly stopped. And then backed up.....because The Snarky Brunette spied PEPPERMINT LIP BALM!
On the top shelf, next to the PEPPERMINT soy candle and PEPPERMINT Goat's Milk soap; there it was: as big as a glue stick! The red & white swirled packaging caught my keen eye; the yummified scent, so potent I could smell it before I actually picked up the balm.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!
I may or may not have completely lost my mind in all things peppermint. I may or may not have impulsively purchased $12 worth of peppermint goodies, including the over-sized lip balm (which I'm wearing right now! Totally makes my lips all glossy!): Zumba Kiss.
And in my peppermint induced high, I may or may not be willing to concede that Christmas ain't all that bad. I mean really, it is the only holiday that guarantees I will have peppermint whatever at my disposal and for my every whim. That makes me happy. So I've decided me and my Zumba Kiss are going to meet Christmas head on..... and in the end, all the lame ass decorations & elevator inspired Muzak we are going to be subjected to over the next 2 1/2 months can SUCK IT!
That's not to say I won't bitch and piss and moan about being subjected to it, though.............that's what I do.
And you guys should totally know that by now!
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Friday, November 5, 2010
Trick or Prophylactic?
So me & my stiff Salty Dog logged on tonight, feeling like we wanted to write........
But we just sat here and stared at the blank page for what seemed like forever........
The blinking cursor totally mocking us & our un-inspired state.
Shit.
With my creative sap not flowing, I clicked over to my homepage to see if perhaps some world and local news might do the trick.
B-I-N-G-O!
Seems a couple in Silverton, OREGON handed out condoms to kids on Halloween.
And the parent of one teenager was both "offended" and found it "inappropriate to give them without the parents' consent."
Hmmmmmm.....where to begin?
A good place to start would be for me to stop laughing my ass off!
(Said ass is really quite large these days, so this could take awhile.......)
Really? "Offended"? If the parents answered their door in black face; that's something to be offended about. If the parents handed out religious materials, whether it was anti or pro; that's something to be offended about. But a condom? To a 14 year old? Get over yourself, Parent. You live in a town that continues to elect a transvestite as its Mayor.
(Something which, for the record, I totally applaud. Said cross dressing Mayor, however, needs a complete fashion make-over. I'm just sayin'......)
The argument regarding how appropriate it was to pass out condoms....... I will concede: Parent, you've got me there. But not because I find it inappropriate. It's because these parents are simply setting themselves up for ridicule, lots 'o judgments to be passed aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand, in this day and age of "sue-happy" individuals- the potential for a lawsuit.
And if they lived in Linn County, I am sure, the potential for criminal charges!
These parents simply suffer from poor judgment. There intent was good, in theory. Promote safe sex and the health and well being of young people, and at the same time educate. Their platform, however, was completely misguided.......you know...... since the majority of the teenagers landing on their doorstep are clearly misguided as well SINCE EVERYONE KNOWS THAT YOU STOP TRICK OR TREATING WHEN YOU'RE TWELVE!
And that's not the kids fault- that's poor parenting.
And here's how we come full circle: you've got a 14 year old trick or treating, who gets a condom as a "treat" and HER parent is offended.
Seriously? I'm more offended at the parent who allows their 14 year old to Trick or Treat than I am offended at the Condom Giving, Halloween Celebrating, Thinking I'm Gonna Educate parent!
FFS. Offended Parent needs to count his blessings that his kid escaped Condom Giving's "normal practice." See........ Condom Giving parent freely admits giving the 14 year old a condom "was a mistake". Her "usual practice is to ask teens if they're 16 years or older and to give them a speech on safe sex."
Hmmmmmmm........ lemme see? Free condom that any parent can confiscate and ultimately use for themselves OR having to explain to your kid what was sure to be a completely condescending and whacked out personal philosophy on safe sex from a stranger.......?
I hate stupid people.
But we just sat here and stared at the blank page for what seemed like forever........
The blinking cursor totally mocking us & our un-inspired state.
Shit.
With my creative sap not flowing, I clicked over to my homepage to see if perhaps some world and local news might do the trick.
B-I-N-G-O!
Seems a couple in Silverton, OREGON handed out condoms to kids on Halloween.
And the parent of one teenager was both "offended" and found it "inappropriate to give them without the parents' consent."
Hmmmmmm.....where to begin?
A good place to start would be for me to stop laughing my ass off!
(Said ass is really quite large these days, so this could take awhile.......)
Really? "Offended"? If the parents answered their door in black face; that's something to be offended about. If the parents handed out religious materials, whether it was anti or pro; that's something to be offended about. But a condom? To a 14 year old? Get over yourself, Parent. You live in a town that continues to elect a transvestite as its Mayor.
(Something which, for the record, I totally applaud. Said cross dressing Mayor, however, needs a complete fashion make-over. I'm just sayin'......)
The argument regarding how appropriate it was to pass out condoms....... I will concede: Parent, you've got me there. But not because I find it inappropriate. It's because these parents are simply setting themselves up for ridicule, lots 'o judgments to be passed aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand, in this day and age of "sue-happy" individuals- the potential for a lawsuit.
And if they lived in Linn County, I am sure, the potential for criminal charges!
These parents simply suffer from poor judgment. There intent was good, in theory. Promote safe sex and the health and well being of young people, and at the same time educate. Their platform, however, was completely misguided.......you know...... since the majority of the teenagers landing on their doorstep are clearly misguided as well SINCE EVERYONE KNOWS THAT YOU STOP TRICK OR TREATING WHEN YOU'RE TWELVE!
And that's not the kids fault- that's poor parenting.
And here's how we come full circle: you've got a 14 year old trick or treating, who gets a condom as a "treat" and HER parent is offended.
Seriously? I'm more offended at the parent who allows their 14 year old to Trick or Treat than I am offended at the Condom Giving, Halloween Celebrating, Thinking I'm Gonna Educate parent!
FFS. Offended Parent needs to count his blessings that his kid escaped Condom Giving's "normal practice." See........ Condom Giving parent freely admits giving the 14 year old a condom "was a mistake". Her "usual practice is to ask teens if they're 16 years or older and to give them a speech on safe sex."
Hmmmmmmm........ lemme see? Free condom that any parent can confiscate and ultimately use for themselves OR having to explain to your kid what was sure to be a completely condescending and whacked out personal philosophy on safe sex from a stranger.......?
I hate stupid people.
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