30 Days To Review Forty

In the words of my Sister:
(who couldn't be less gangsta if she tried)

Word up......YO!

It actually took me 10 minutes to come up with that........sigh. Perhaps now ya'll will cut me some slack for not bloggin'!
(KB- my finger is pointing at YOU!)

I've been vacillating on what the hell I was going to write about......it's been over a month, for god's sake! And certainly, I've got things to say.....because, hello? When am I ever lost for words? But my plate is full. And I feel incredibly pressed for time. And I'm Type A, so if I'm going to do this, I gotta do it right.......which means I refuse to log on and blog about nothing. And by nothing I mean boring shit that no one with a brain would give a rats ass about!

Like my dog, who has more emotional issues with food than I do; and who repeatedly wolfs down entire loaves of bread. Apparently, because she can. It's abundantly clear from the evidence she leaves behind- the bread sack is literally torn to shreds & can be found strewn about the kitchen- when she's been a bad girl. And no amount of verbal assault seems to assuage her from this behavior. One would think that after spending the rest of her day laying on her side; bloated & moaning, and occasionally passing some seriously foul gas, that she would learn her lesson.........

She has not. And when she raises her head from the floor and looks at me as if to say: Sister, you feel my pain, right? I reply in my sweetest, doggie num num voice: You are one dumb bitch.....yes you are!

So. Where to begin? Perhaps I should pick up where I left off........

THE SNARKY BRUNETTE IS 40!

And this year I managed to drag my birthday out for two months! I started it off in May with a trip to Vegas with my Girls (Holla! if you're certified......Whoop! Whoop!); followed by a joint birthday gathering for myself & Apple Face with our Work Crew (Gem Twins stick together!). In mid June I managed to high-jack my own surprise birthday party and with Tk & Marky's help, pulled off one hell of a gathering. Too much good food;Tk's Master Mixologist skills behind the bar & cooperative weather made for the perfect party. But what really made the day so great was being surrounded by my friends & family. I may project a lot of self confidence, but I spent alot of time worried that no one would show up. Wow. It was both overwhelming and completely self -satisfying to see that many beautiful faces in one place; and all for me.

I may or may not have required them all to tell me how fabulous I look.........

Mark spent the majority of the party making me pull my hair back so he could show off my birthday present: diamond earrings! Total weight: just over a carat. Cut: Brilliant. Clarity: VSI. Color: TWINKLY, SPARKLY! The diamonds are nearly flawless and literally blinding in the sun. They are so clear they look bigger than their actual size. They are simply gorgeous. And were a total surprise. It's a toss up over which one of us was more excited: me to get them or Mark to give them! He saved for three years and was determined that I have them for my 40th.

(Totally makes up for his constant reminders about what a dumb ass I am!)

I closed out my birthday month with a family reunion just outside of Leavenworth, WA. Or as Samuel calls it: Lemon Drop. We spent 4 days with 40 + of Mark's family and made quite the impression on the tiny town of Plain. By the end of our time there, EVERYONE knew us. I am convinced it's because of our stellar personalities and that our family- all 40 + of us!- completely charmed the towns folk. Mark says its because we looked like idiots walking around in matching shirts that said: Albert Family Reunion: "Party at the Ponderosa 2010".

To sum up: 40 has been fabulous.

With the exception of the constant reminders from Kristin that I need to update my Blogger Profile because 1) I am 40 and 2) I am old. These constant reminders are in addition to her random reminders that she hates people; the precise hour as to when cocktail hour begins and my personal favorite: what the current temperature is in BoHo. She's relentless. With the exception of her 2+ weeks in Germany, I have received a text or email (or both!) EVERYDAY telling me to change your goddamn profile, already! They started out as funny reminders; became agitated reminders (on account of her OCD issues) and are now gravitating towards hostile. I fear that if the number 39 in my Profile continues to mock her, she will hack into my account and change it for me!

I'll get around to it.

When I'm inspired.

So......given my track record for April, May and June...........in about 30 days!